LIFE'S TOO SHORT, MY HEART REALLY BURNS.

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Days never passes by without thoughts of him. I remember his smile, intelligent and outspoken nature, courage and strength, godliness and reputable personality. It's been over a month now since my precious gem departed from this world to another realm, that place wherein we all dread but which we all are mandated to go one day. What hurts me most is that the clock keeps on tinkling, the market keeps been busy, the wind never ceased to blow, even the ocean water never stopped flowing to at least give respect to an hero that has gone. What am I even saying when even the mourners cannot really mourn forever. Life continues and to make it worst even I, though, burning in pain has gone back to my usual daily activities again. Dressing up, making up to cover up the pain that has become a resident in my heart.There is never a moment whereby memories of my father never crosses my mind. Even though it's sad to be bitter I think I"m happy been sad as long as he keeps on living in my heart.

I have heard people die before and it hurts me but I never lost someone this close to understand how hard it is..... to understand what this life really means. Yes! we are mere mortals who was born into this world one day hence who are we not to depart someday. Now I  understand the meaning of "fortitude to bear the loss" it's really difficult.


When this happened at first I just thought of not praying anymore, not believing in God anymore, not serving Him but just live my life the way I feel because in-spite of the prayers from friends and families to preserve my dad's life God still took him away. He didn't look at the tears in our eyes and plead from our mouth. He took away someone we really cherished  I never asked God for anything before without an answer from Him but on this matter He just didn't answer. Now....even though I thought of forgetting my faith, I remember that I  am nothing before God and no one can fight with God because He's got nothing to loose instead we need him more to fight our ever day battles in life....I thought about other prayers of mine which He always answer and then I tell myself God does what's right always....my dad is in a better place resting with the Lord.
Though this contradicts the bible but permit me to say that I still have so many questions to ask even though I know I can't get an answer to it because no one knows the truth except God. I still ask about him and bother how he feels where ever he is right now because of those African myths I hear about death- reincarnation, spirit world and the likes. As I keep bothering my head with all these it hurts even more. How could he, the one who I have always known as the man who brought me into this world, spent so much so I can become someone in life, the one who deserve to eat all that he labored for left us at a young age of 56. Yes! He was strict while I was growing and we all were closer to my mum cos she is more friendlier but my dad too was, he only did that to discipline us, he was a responsible man. I had a great man as a dad who a big dream and a promising future but now he is no more is the hardest thing to believe or live with.

So many reasons I have been out of the "blogshere", so many reasons I have neglected my passion and then keeping myself away from the world, burying my sad self in my cracked shell. This is one of the reason..."can I be completely happy again? can the happiness I find on the day I get married or have kids be to the fullness when my darling dad has gone to a world so far away, a place where he renounced that he never wanna go at this time. LIFE'S TOO SHORT MY HEART REALLY BURNS.

Comments

  1. Ah my darling!!! I'm so sorry about your dad. Honestly I was in the dark. I'll hit you up asap. Be strong dearie.

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  2. My number one boo, I just need you to be strong ok.... The Lord is your strength

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  3. Omg I didn't know you lost your dad - thoughts and prayers are with you and the family. Please be strong my dear - will say a prayer now xxxxxxx

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  4. Thanks @Amaka, Chimela and yourstruly...thanks for your words. I have been strong so far even more than I ever thought I could. Though I give myself strength but whenever I remember me pains and fear creeps inside of me.

    May God keep us all.

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  5. So sorry about your lost. You will be fine dearie. I lost my dad at 56 too and he was also sick, we mourned but we looked beyond the situation, what if he ran mad? How will we feel he got missing? And lots of question like that. We just have to be grateful and see beyond our present fate cos God knows best. I have experienced the lost of love ones it hurts more than any pain I know and it takes God grace to rise above it.
    I pray affliction will not rise the second time! Gods grace and mercy will not depart from your family. Sickness that kills the soul is far away from you and your family. Just keep praying and stop looking for answers. When my dad died I was waiting for someone to pinch me to say it's not true.

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    1. Hmmm...true, you spoke just like you are part of my family...the same things we told ourselves. Amen to ur prayers, really appreciate you a lot dearie.

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  6. Accept my sympathy my friend; that's so sad; cherish the memories you have of him too. Some people lost their Dads at a very, very tender age and live life without experiencing a father's love or discipline. God will surely give you and your other loved ones divine comfort.
    Stay strong my dear.

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    1. Thanks a million times..true i'm still grateful tho it's so painful. I'm happy I didn't loose him when I was much younger @least I know my dad so well and can even write a book about his life. Just sad that he won't be there so I could shower him all the love and affection he deserves and buy him all the goodies I can afford cos he deserve it 4 been my father and not just that....a real man worthy to be proud of at anytime.

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  7. eeeyah, really sad, but darling ,deatg is inevitable and you should be thankful at least he is not in one hospital crying in pains and taking blood, he has gone to rest, we can only pray for his soul to rest in peace and may God be with you and the rest of the family he left behind
    jibbyks.blogspot.com

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  8. Accept my condolences, dear Temmy. May God strengthen you on every side.

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  9. MEhhnnn.. Bubba.... This was really Deep to read.. I am sorry about Your Dad Temi.. i mean i am really sorry.... May his soul rest in the perfect Peace of our lord GOD.. You see ehn Baby mi... He is in a better place.. Away from all the noise and confusions of life... And Sadly... Death is a journey we all must make.. So my Advice to you is that You never ever ever stop Loving GOD.. I know it hurts to lose something and someone.. But without GOD, it would hurt more.. You have to find a way to Live on.. And to Live for you Both... Please Bubba..

    P.S: I wrote you on WhatsApp last night.. I will Pray with you Temi... Be Strong Bubba.. Be Strong... Please...

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