I Rather Stay Lonely Than Love Again..
There are different definitions of love. Temmie says: love is a strong passionate feelings that chills the heart, it's the major ingredient that keeps a relationship going. Dictionary: An intense feeling of affection and care towards another person. My dad once told me marriage for instance is not all about the love the youth depicts... well his definition of love is true to a large extend, the religious definition of love. He said true love is when you marry a responsible God fearing man because true religion makes a man morally good and he would be forced to treat a woman right hence what is the outcome? It looks like love now, we call that kind of good marriage a place where love abides. He may not have that intense feelings but since he treats his woman right then he is in love. lets forget that side sha, I wan yan una story for here not definition of love but just felt like adding this one to make this short post a bit longer. lol.
Am sure this topic ''I Rather Stay Lonely Than Love Again.'' is so amazing because first you may think I am referring to myself knowing that I blog about love matters so maybe you refer me as a promoter of love right! I agree I blog a whole lot about love and relationship. Love is sweet, it's the spice of life, it's this and that, it is blah blah blah but the truth is that love matters so much but love is not all that matters too especially when it comes to marriage, compatibility plays a huge role. I once shared was Was I wrong to Love with my heart. That was a typical example of lack of compatibility.
What am I trying to bring out from the first two paragraphs? All I am saying is that I still believe in love but also believe that we should love with our heads and not our heart. See these if you haven't read them before.
As much as I love love stories, believe in love, wanna love and be loved I still believe we need to learn how to play it right cos it hurts too.I have heard a whole lot of issues about how relationship breaks and I understand when people say at times that they have given up on love matters. There were a lot of moments I too decided to keep to myself, not to date and I didn't see a need for a guy in my life but there was a time again when I had to give a chance to love again. Wait a minute.....who am I to feel like James Bond here. I too isn't that perfect lover now! there were moments when I was the bad one, I had being the cheat, I mean by just stop loving him for no congruent reason, I was the heart breaker once.
But guys this topic isn't about me like I said earlier, so don't get it twisted that love is not a beautiful thing, that's still my opinion (love is good) and I am shouting it loud in D'banj voice. Now guys this doesn't mean because love is beautiful we have to die by the side of love. Love have thought so much and this makes me speechless on love matters a times and just like the lady in this story would you/I rather be lonely than to love again?
I met a lady some days back who shared her sad love story with me, she ended up saying I rather remain lonely than to love again. Guys believe me I was speechless cos I just didn't know what I could do or say to make her feel better. I couldn't start preaching that please don't see that or say it. I was clueless.
I would share some parts of her story and speak my mind too, would equally love to hear from you guys. So Tara (not real name) had fallen in love first at 17 with a guy who was 12 years older. He beat her up at the slightest thing, insult even her parents. He didn't care about her feelings and the worst thing is when ever she tried to run out of that hell called a relationship he threatens to kill or hurt her. She dated him for 3 years which was hell, he saw her with any guy and worst of all he was a bad fucker. He forced her to sleep with him. I am sure you will be wandering how a 17 year old was exposed to this kind of treatment right! Oh well it was after her father died and her mum was maltreated by the father's family who went away with the little assets left behind for the nuclear family (this is stale Naija gist but it's still happening). They could hardly eat a meal, everyone was hustling for his daily bread and when she had met her Beast she jumped at him. at least he promised to see her through school. she told me about the night she was deflowered. it really hurt me she said. he had switched off the light in his bedroom and spread my legs, I was scared but he promised to take it gently with me but when I was fidgeting and crying he slapped me and forced me, that was hard on me, I didn't like how it was but what could an hopeless girl like me do? I cried all night and those moments I spent with him was penury. I was lucky to make it through school with his help and even though I tried to pay him back by marrying him even though I didn't love him and knew he was gonna be a hell of a marriage I finally got free when he specifically told me he didn't need me. I can't call that an heartbreak anyways after all I had gotten what matters most to me education and I am gainfully employed.
Another memorable love story of mine was with Tosin who I dated for 2 years unknown to me that he was married and had kids. It was when I got pregnant that the revealed to me that he didn't need me for anything. I had to abort that baby and start afresh. Love has been so cruel to me, my mum has been disturbing me to get married but I choose to be lonely forever than to ever love any man again. I may have sex to have kids after all my mum needs grandchildren but having a man who will control me, hurt me, kill me emotionally is a No. Some other ladies out there are lucky lovers but I am not one of them so let me live just the way fate has permitted me to.
what's your views or opinions on this, i can't wait to hear your views......