I Made A Wrong Choice, I Loved With My Heart....

I remember when I was younger and about to get into the university, I wanted to study medicine since it had been my childhood passion. My dad had sat me down and asked if I was sure of my career choice and added that in life there are three important choices to make which are: choice of a career, choice of one's partner and the choice of serving God or not. Eventually I made the right choice when it came to my career because today I am a successful medical doctor and I do some other things that fetches me money.

I choose the right career that has made me a sucessful woman but on another hand, I am the most unlucky when it comes to my love life.
All those years in medical school I was focused on my studies trying to mould myself to becoming a successful woman. I made good grades and graduated but never had a boyfriend.

During my Nysc I decided to start up a relationship but unfortunately it was an heartbreaking story that got me devestated. I could hardly come out of that shock because I loved that guy and would do all in my powers to make him happy. I was the one spending for him, I gave him so much money, got him gifts and spoilt him with so many things but after service he travelled back to Owerri where he is based and told me it was over that he never loved me.

That is by the way because I eventually shook him off and moved ahead but then I made the worst choice of this life. I made a wrong choice when it came to marriage. I loved him with my heart and not with my head. When you love with your heart you love blindly and foolishly but when you love with your head you think! People call ladies gold diggers but can you all the time blame us? If you marry a man beneath you, it's a problem but when you say he is not your standard they call it pride. What then should we do?

Now read another part of my life:
I loved my husband, Tega, so much inspite of all the pains I have gone through in the hands of him and that of my in laws. When I met him he lied about been 5 years older than I and that he had an Ms.c in Finance and works with a construction firm. I didn't know he borrowed the car he usually flaunt around to pick me up. How could he!

I felt disappointed when my friend told me the truth about him and I confronted him. It was then he confessed that I personally was a big Chick and my family was well to do but he loves me so much and can't afford to loose me so he had to do all that in other not to loose me. I forgave him and kept on loving him not minding our social status and financial differences, I love him despite all odds but now I keep asking this question because I demand an answer, "was I wrong?"

The agony I went through in his hands started the every night of my wedding when his mother called me, "don't think you can lord over my son, we Urhobos don't take shit and watch out for me, I will show you". That word pierced through my heart, it dug inside of me and I cried out, I burnt in pains.

My mother is also from Delta so I know them very well, they aren't bad but this woman showed me another side of them. Nothing I did pleased my husband and his family, I got him a car and gave him 5 million to start up a car business, which he didn't appreciate, I know that isn't enough but it was what I was capable of giving within my power, and it can go a long way anyway. The house we lived was mine and he never gave me a penny to cook like other husband's do. Anything I say or do, he and his mother interpreted it wrongly that I was acting that way because I was the bread winner.

He kept late nights, even calls some of his girlfriends in my present and beats me up. I meant nothing to him. We couldn't sit down and talk or laugh like husband and wife and the few times we made love was when he wanted to request money from me,  he treats me like a queen then.

I spent many nights shedding tears because my parents had warned me about him before.

Few weeks back he beat me up to the extend that I lost my 7months old pregnancy just because I had confronted him when I saw an horrible message he sent to his girlfriend. I bled so much but God saw me through. My father later arrested him but he has been released and has been begging me to come back saying all that happened wasn't intentional and he will turn a new leaf.

I still love him but I am afraid of going back to his life, maybe I should just move ahead and forget about him.I shouldn't make a mistake the second time.
*****

Thanks so much aunty Stella for sharing your story here, I feel like crying and wish I could help but I know God will give you a man that is worth it.

My question to the house:
Is it wrong to marry a man you are richer than because what I see here is inferiority complex running in his family.

Let's talk about this....

Feel free to share matters that bothers you, your pains, worries and yes your romantic love life here at Exclusive Tins Blog. (No real names will be used) 

Comments

  1. First there's nothing like loving against all Odds, while I sympathize with you, I'd say you.saw the signs but chose to ignore probably because your biological clock was ticking or something. Now, I've been there in my past relationships, now, if I.know I can't tolerate this, I don't even touch a dude who exhibits such with a ten foot pole in the name of loving blindly. Am a product of intertribal marriage and the things my eyes have seen and ears have heard no be here. Am not saying all intertribal marriages are bad oh! No.
    That being said this guy is a weakling who is allowing his mother control your home as the De facto husband. Raising up his hands against you? Kindly walk straight to your father's house and report this please. This one is more than be careful! May the good Lord guide you aright darling

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  2. True talk Amaka. This kind of man is the type called the mama's boy and his type is one of the kind of men we ladies should avoid.

    Because of things like this that's why believe ladies should marry someone ahead of them financially

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    Replies
    1. Yes oh no time, olorunsogo is the way forward

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  3. That's a horrible thing to go through I'm short of words. Some ppl have married men they richer and it worked because the man loves them no matter what. I don't think she should take him back. Please next time he will kill her. Lady don't become a statistic, I think he might be gay, this one she said they only make love when he wants money. He probably only married her to get enough money for his boyfriend. Please divorce him and start again.

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    Replies
    1. Am not sure he is gay, this guy clearly is a mama's boy and has complex issues. Well, urhobos too can be controlling but that's not the issue here. Domestic violence is involved now and it's a no no for me, babes saw the signs but was love struck. Well it's not time to pass the buck but time to think and look for the way forward. It's a good thing you spoke out, it's time to involve your parents! Dead men don't tell tales!!!

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  4. Wow Stella is so strong. People can be really ill, like that man. What a brave story to tell, so personal! It is so important to learn to recognize destructive relationships and having the strength to leave them, without it ruining your self esteem or your ability to trust. Thanks for sharing this!
    Hugs,
    Alexandra

    www.mysweetestdisposition.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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