I Made A Wrong Choice, I Loved With My Heart....
I choose the right career that has made me a sucessful woman but on another hand, I am the most unlucky when it comes to my love life.
All those years in medical school I was focused on my studies trying to mould myself to becoming a successful woman. I made good grades and graduated but never had a boyfriend.
During my Nysc I decided to start up a relationship but unfortunately it was an heartbreaking story that got me devestated. I could hardly come out of that shock because I loved that guy and would do all in my powers to make him happy. I was the one spending for him, I gave him so much money, got him gifts and spoilt him with so many things but after service he travelled back to Owerri where he is based and told me it was over that he never loved me.
That is by the way because I eventually shook him off and moved ahead but then I made the worst choice of this life. I made a wrong choice when it came to marriage. I loved him with my heart and not with my head. When you love with your heart you love blindly and foolishly but when you love with your head you think! People call ladies gold diggers but can you all the time blame us? If you marry a man beneath you, it's a problem but when you say he is not your standard they call it pride. What then should we do?
Now read another part of my life:
I loved my husband, Tega, so much inspite of all the pains I have gone through in the hands of him and that of my in laws. When I met him he lied about been 5 years older than I and that he had an Ms.c in Finance and works with a construction firm. I didn't know he borrowed the car he usually flaunt around to pick me up. How could he!
I felt disappointed when my friend told me the truth about him and I confronted him. It was then he confessed that I personally was a big Chick and my family was well to do but he loves me so much and can't afford to loose me so he had to do all that in other not to loose me. I forgave him and kept on loving him not minding our social status and financial differences, I love him despite all odds but now I keep asking this question because I demand an answer, "was I wrong?"
The agony I went through in his hands started the every night of my wedding when his mother called me, "don't think you can lord over my son, we Urhobos don't take shit and watch out for me, I will show you". That word pierced through my heart, it dug inside of me and I cried out, I burnt in pains.
My mother is also from Delta so I know them very well, they aren't bad but this woman showed me another side of them. Nothing I did pleased my husband and his family, I got him a car and gave him 5 million to start up a car business, which he didn't appreciate, I know that isn't enough but it was what I was capable of giving within my power, and it can go a long way anyway. The house we lived was mine and he never gave me a penny to cook like other husband's do. Anything I say or do, he and his mother interpreted it wrongly that I was acting that way because I was the bread winner.
He kept late nights, even calls some of his girlfriends in my present and beats me up. I meant nothing to him. We couldn't sit down and talk or laugh like husband and wife and the few times we made love was when he wanted to request money from me, he treats me like a queen then.
I spent many nights shedding tears because my parents had warned me about him before.
Few weeks back he beat me up to the extend that I lost my 7months old pregnancy just because I had confronted him when I saw an horrible message he sent to his girlfriend. I bled so much but God saw me through. My father later arrested him but he has been released and has been begging me to come back saying all that happened wasn't intentional and he will turn a new leaf.
I still love him but I am afraid of going back to his life, maybe I should just move ahead and forget about him.I shouldn't make a mistake the second time.
Thanks so much aunty Stella for sharing your story here, I feel like crying and wish I could help but I know God will give you a man that is worth it.
My question to the house:
Is it wrong to marry a man you are richer than because what I see here is inferiority complex running in his family.
Let's talk about this....
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