A confused lady says :"I love Him only In My Imagination"
This orentiation was the reason I decided to give him a chance in my life. We had dated for over a year and he had being a very great boyfriend. He bought me all I wanted, always came visiting me in my school and he respected me so much. My wish was his command!
The problem is I enjoyed all these affections, his love was so sweet but I just couldn't love him back and I was not proud of telling my friends about him because of his looks and height. He is an ugly guy and I am even taller than him. I enjoyed all those conversations over the phone and I felt deep for him when was alone with him but something within me says my feelings was mere sympathy and a kind of enthralling feelings all because I knew he truly loved me but it didn't change the fact that I don't love him and am not proud of him.
I usually felt sorry for myself because telling him it's over was the hardest thing to do. I thought I could kill him if I say so but on the other hand how long would I keep deceiving him and even myself. I dreamt about him and imagined us together but I always reject it coming into reality.
Few weeks back I Spoke with a close friend of mine (Rume) and she asked me to break up with him because I needed to follow my heart and so I sent him a message which read: "I don't want us to continue because I only love you in my imaginations but I hate it becoming a reality. If I could live 2 lives then I would sacrifice one for your love by spending my life with you but I have just only one life so I need to go for who I love and not just one who loves me''.
After that, I told my friend but she complained and condemned my action that it was too hard on him and that I should have found a better way way of breaking up with him.
He shed tears so much but I had to lock up. He said I made him feel like he was nothing and I am regretting my action right now. The last words he said to me was "anytime you change your mind, I am ready to be yours. I will be waiting for your return". Those words pierced my heart and I have not been myself since then. Maybe I actually love him, but just like I said he doesn't have the physical attraction I need in a man , I am so confused. Please advise me, what can I do?
Lemme see people's view before I say mine. Exclusivetins blog readers you have to say something.
The lady in question needs your advice. Thanks.